By Elaine Magliaro
It was just a matter of time before Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas became the subject of one of my posts in the “Oh My Achin’ Head” Series. Gohmert—who, Charles Pierce once said, was “perhaps the dumbest mammal to enter a legislative chamber since Caligula’s horse”—is known for his strange speeches and lectures about various and sundry topics on the floor of the House and during committee meetings. Over the years, those subjects have included bestiality, necrophilia, terrorist babies, and the sex lives of caribou.
Rep. Gohmert attacks DADT, Hate Crimes bill
Last week, Gohmert was an “in-studio” guest on the Point of View radio program. According to Right Wing Watch, Gohmert “had been railing against the Obama administration’s decision to send several thousand members of the U.S. military to Western Africa to assist in the effort to control the Ebola outbreak…and how that was “the latest example of the administration demonstrating its fundamental disdain for the military.” Then, for some unknown reason, Gohmert went off on a tangent and began to criticize “the repeal of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy in the most perfectly Gohmert-esque fashion imaginable.”
“I’ve had people say, ‘Hey, you know, there’s nothing wrong with gays in the military. Look at the Greeks,'” he said. “Well, you know, they did have people come along who they loved that was the same sex and would give them massages before they went into battle. But you know what, it’s a different kind of fighting, it’s a different kind of war and if you’re sitting around getting massages all day ready to go into a big, planned battle, then you’re not going to last very long. It’s guerrilla fighting. You are going to be ultimately vulnerable to terrorism and if that’s what you start doing in the military like the Greeks did … as people have said, ‘Louie, you have got to understand, you don’t even know your history.’ Oh yes I do. I know exactly. It’s not a good idea.”
Sure, Louie, sure! Our military will be vulnerable to terrorism because all the gay soldiers will be too busy getting massages. Oh my achin’ head!!!!!
Gohmert: Gays ‘Getting Massages All Day’ Make The Military ‘Vulnerable To Terrorism’ (Talking Points Memo)
Louie Gohmert Opposes Gun Control Because Gay Marriage Leads to Bestiality (Right Wing Watch)
Louie Gohmert: Best caribou wingman ever (Washington Post)
Louie Gohmert Gets Pantsed (Esquire)