Jeb! wants to move the Department of the Interior to the Interior, because beyond the Beltway no one can see your pants fall

By ann summers

Jeb! the decentralizer wants to move everything closer to where the Cliven Bundys can more easily get people off their lawns or ranches.

Make it a closer drive for lobbyists wanting the Grand Canyon mined. The Department of Commerce needs to be closer to the world headquarters of Walmart, and since you’ll probably have a “Florida White House” in the tradition of Nixon’s San Clemente “Western White House”, Reagan’s Santa Barbara Neverland, and Bush 43’s “Land-o-Reagan-loved-clearing-brush” in Crawford, Texas, The Jeb!-House should be in Orlando within sight of Fantasyland, just as the 1%’s porch should have the Grand Caymans more visible.

We should applaud this deregulating gravity model of states’ rights, as though phones and overnight air freight had yet to be invented, and how so much more efficient would it be to put the Bureau of Prisons at Gitmo, and BATFE closer to wherever George Zimmerman happens to be in Florida. Video-streamed, teleconferenced governance while driving in Google Car One – from “Beast Mode” to Jeb! Mode!

And put the Department of State on Air Force One because that’s where it’ll need to be moved considering the number of new hot spots that comes with GOP presidents and how smart the relocation of bureaucracy makes costs go down. If federalist diplomacy doesn’t get to Benghazi in 30 minutes, the first missile strike is free.

The former Florida governor says he supports “moving the Department of the Interior headquarters” from Washington “to a location closer to the lands it manages and the people it most affects, such as Denver, Salt Lake City or Reno. Historically, presidents export a Secretary of the Interior from the West to Washington. It is time to import the Department from Washington to the West.”

Bush also takes sharp aim at the Obama administration, charging that it “has increasingly attempted to grab state authority and constrain the acceptable uses of federal lands. This needs to be reversed. We can conserve our natural resources and create economic growth while avoiding the pitfalls of federal bureaucracy.”

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3 Responses to Jeb! wants to move the Department of the Interior to the Interior, because beyond the Beltway no one can see your pants fall

  1. Aridog says:

    How many election cycles and administrations are we going to re-live George W? Might we one day lay the current issues at the feet of those actually in office? Jeb is neither Goerge W nor George H W, so lets cut it out…he’s not my choice, but I’m sick of this childish schoolyard taunt behavior on all sides.

    As I’ve said before, I’m tuning out ALL candidate chatter until after the primaries…enough is enough.

  2. Aridog says:

    Worse come to worse, which it very well might, I may write in “Donald Duck” as a candidate. Won’t be the first time… 😀

  3. One of the best analysis of the current situation is by retired Jim Wright (CWO, USN, ret.). He is an artist with the written word, combined with the crustiness of a four-square sailor who has risen through the ranks. Man has been there, done that, and seen it all.

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