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BREAKING NEWS – FEB 12, 2017 WASHINGTON DC
EPIDEMIC LEVELS RISING AT ALARMING RATE
The epidemic of Mendacitas Americanicus is spreading with dangerous rapidity across the United States. Outbreaks have now been reported in all 50 states, and some isolated cases have recently been discovered in Canada.
- Symptoms include: rapidly increasing levels of Absurdum Conspiratio; irritability; uncontrolled angry outbursts; mood swings; irrational violent attacks on fellow citizens and foreign visitors caused by aversion to their skin color, gender, sexual orientation or chosen house of worship; a constant discharge from the mouth of obfuscation and prevarication; and extreme repetitive obsessive Taurus Excretum Twitteritus.
- If someone you know exhibits any of these symptoms, do not attempt to aid them unassisted – Professionals only should approach with extreme caution
The CDC has determined that ‘Patient Zero’ is the man who stormed the White House, and has been holding the Constitution hostage in the Oval Office since January 21, 2017. Constitutionalists are extremely concerned about the health and safety of the Constitution. All attempts by the hostage negotiators to resolve the increasingly unstable situation have failed because Patient Zero refuses to negotiate.
There is some encouraging news. A consortium of artists and activists have been working almost around the clock to find a cure for Mendacitas Americanicus, and a promising formula has been developed by Naomi Shibab Nye which will shortly be available for clinical trials.
by Naomi Shihab Nye
We made it from the ground-up corn in the old back pasture.
Pinched a scent of night jasmine billowing off the fence,
popped it right in.
That frog song wanting nothing but echo?
We used that.
Stirred it widely. Noticed the clouds while stirring.
Called upon our ancient great aunts and their long slow eyes
of summer. Dropped in their names.
Added a mint leaf now and then
to hearten the broth. Added a note of cheer and worry.
Orange butterfly between the claps of thunder?
Perfect. And once we had it,
had smelled and tasted the fragrant syrup,
placing the pan on a back burner for keeping,
the sorrow lifted in small ways.
We boiled down the lies in another pan till they disappeared.
We washed that pan.
“Truth Serum” from You and Yours, © 2005 by Naomi Shihab Nye – BOA Editions Ltd.
Naomi Shihab Nye (1952 — ) was born in St.Louis, Missouri; daughter of a father who came to America as a Palestinian refuge, and a born-in-America mother. “I grew up in St. Louis in a tiny house full of large music – Mahalia Jackson and Marian Anderson singing majestically on the stereo, my German-American mother fingering ‘The Lost Chord’ on the piano as golden light sank through trees, my Palestinian father trilling in Arabic in the shower each dawn.” During her teens, Shihab Nye lived in Ramallah in Palestine, the Old City in Jerusalem, and San Antonio, Texas, where she later received BAs in English and World Religions from Trinity University.
- The late, great Alan Rickman as Severus Snape in the Harry Potter movies