Bundystan now riddled with bulletpoints as Fluffy Unicornists seek Freedom Vanilla creamer

tufte-wallpaper_1_By ann summers

TarpBoy LaVoy, the Fluffy Unicorn whisperer of Eastern Oregon, like most of his band of Unicornists has been coming out from his tarp in anticipation of Groundhog Day, one of the few days in Pennsylvania where fewer marmots get whacked as varmint / pests. Similarly Friday’s 7pm meeting may have been postponed because the annual coyote hunt begins at the same time in the Burns, Oregon area.

In other predator news as the third week of the standoff begins, the eagerly anticipated announcement of an exit plan from the bantustan has been postponed with an excuse that the Friday community meeting lacked a venue even as the Unicornists have had plein aire  / al fresco press conferences before.

The Unicornist cadre of local fellow-travelers, The Committee for (public) Safety, apparently have had their own troubles finding a place for guillotines. So apparently, rather than lobster Thermidor, the mollusk-like death that comes in the form of a Power Point slide presentation is in the offing for Monday. Here’s a preview:


Meanwhile, occupiers at the refuge said they were hopeful a meeting could be arranged for Monday evening. Robert “LaVoy” Finicum, an Arizona rancher who is participating in the occupation, told reporters Friday that Bundy is preparing a PowerPoint presentation. 

The safety committee, formed shortly before Bundy and his followers started their occupation at the refuge, drafted a letter to Bundy asking him to leave, but thanking him for bringing attention to the fight for local control of federal lands in the county.

Though community members have resoundingly signaled at earlier public meetings that they’re ready for the occupiers to leave, the protesters have announced no firm plans.

The cancellation of the Friday night meeting prolongs the uncertainty surrounding the future of the occupation, which will soon enter its third week.

At the refuge, the occupiers continue to settle in.

They have busied themselves in recent days by clearing a short road for cars near a building they’re using as a kitchen, pantry and bunkhouse. Members of the group briefly left the occupied refuge headquarters on Friday to remove devices they said were government-installed surveillance cameras from power poles. 

No word on the status of Indian artifacts held in the Malheur Wildlife Refuge Center that may have been desecrated by the Unicornists in their snack rituals using Freedom Vanilla creamer.

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